A workbook
The Becoming
Structured prompts for naming what is happening to you, and for going through it rather than around it.
US$39
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Chapter I · Matrescence
ma.tres.cence
/muh-TRES-uhns/noun
The developmental transition a woman moves through when she becomes a mother - in the way adolescence is the transition into adulthood. It moves the body, the relationships, the work, and the sense of self. It is normal, and it has a name.
Matrescence is the developmental transition into motherhood, named by the anthropologist Dana Raphael in 1973 and left almost unused for decades afterwards. It is not a diagnosis and it is not a disorder. It is the passage itself, and most women go through it without ever being handed the word. Here is the word, where it came from, and what it lets you say.
In this chapter
The language gap: why English took until 1973 to name matrescence
English has had a word for becoming an adult since the fifteenth century. It got one for becoming a mother in 1973, then barely used it for forty years.
Matrescence and the second baby: why it is different, not easier
Matrescence happens again with a second baby, and the second time is not a smaller version of the first. The skills carry over; knowing who you are does not.
Matrescence does not end at one year: what the second year is actually like
Matrescence has no established endpoint. The one-year mark is an administrative date rather than a finding, and the second year is barely written about.
Lived experience vs clinical advice - why the difference matters
Lived experience can tell you what a thing felt like from the inside. It cannot tell you what is wrong with you or what to do about it. Everything I write sits.
Finding community when you feel erased by motherhood
The loneliness of early motherhood is rarely a shortage of people.
What matrescence is not: four things it keeps getting confused with
Matrescence is not the fourth trimester, not postpartum depression, not motherhood itself, and not evidence you are coping badly. Four boundaries, drawn.
Matrescence in Australia: why the word found ready ground here
Matrescence is the developmental transition of becoming a mother, and the word has landed unusually well in Australia.
The invisible revolution of early motherhood
Matrescence is the developmental transition of becoming a mother, and it is happening at this moment, in separate flats and separate kitchens, to a very large
Why nobody told you becoming a mother would feel like a loss
You were told about the stitches and the night feeds.
Matrescence vs postpartum depression - the difference that matters
Matrescence is a normal developmental transition. Postpartum depression is an illness.
What is matrescence? The word that names what new mothers feel
Matrescence is the developmental transition of becoming a mother, named in 1973 and still barely known.
Matrescence meaning: why this one word changes everything
The meaning of matrescence, in the sense that matters at four in the morning, is that the trouble is not you.
Matrescence definition - and why it matters that it exists
Matrescence is the developmental transition into motherhood: the physical, hormonal, neurological, social and identity changes that begin in pregnancy or at
The best matrescence books - what they got right (and what they missed)
If you read one book on matrescence, read Lucy Jones's Matrescence, published in 2023.
If the writing keeps running past the end
It is also in The Complete Passage, with the other three and The Threshold.